Filed under: Review
Because there’s nothing funnier than watching the disappointment wash over your loved one’s face as they’re reminded that they’re still poor.
Filed under: Review
No, as a man of almost 30, I didn’t feel weird buying a training bra at a dollar store.
I would have felt weird if I’d bought 10 of them. 1 = normal(ish).
Once I made a point of informing the clerk (and repeating for her manager) that I was buying the training bra for the typo in the the text on it, and assuring them that I was in no way required to register with local authorities when I changed addresses, we all had quite a laugh.
I mean seriously…Who prints “Myn Dog Walks All Over Me” on a training bra? That’s just weird.
Filed under: Review
Fat Tuesday comes but once a year, but hanging these weird-ass masks in your bathroom will terrify you year-round, every time you turn on the light for a midnight pee.
Plus, you can’t tell this from the picture, but they’re each about the size of a fat man’s hand, which makes them even creepier for some reason. Like they’re made for shrunken heads. NOW try to pee, with a shrunken-head-mini-death-mask staring fixedly at your junk. Can’t do it, can you?
Filed under: Review
To all accountants/poker players shopping at the dollar store, I have two things to say to you:
1) Check out this crappy visor!
2) If you were a better accountant/poker player, maybe you wouldn’t need to shop at the dollar store. Maybe you could have nice things instead.
All the fake ballers out there use this sh*t to “bling out” their cell phone or their gear. That’s how you can tell they got no ends. But I’m for real. I bling out my BLING. Y’hear?
Filed under: Review
I guess I never gave this one much thought, but if you’re going to have a $400 wedding cake (not that you’re going to spend $400 on a cake and then buy the topper at the dollar store, but I digress), you want the topper to represent you. But don’t you think it’s a teensy bit racist to only sell black cake toppers at the dollar store? What if I’m white trash, and I want to buy my wedding cake topper at the dollar store? I’m S.O.L.!
By the way, this is what a white trash wedding cake topper looks like:
Let me start by saying that there’s nothing wrong with doilies. Every woman over 150 years old should have at least one. But what kind of messed up Chinese-to-English dictionary spits out “Lace placemat Fruit” when you type in “doily”?
http://www.us101country.com/cc-common/news/sections/newsarticle.html?feed=259236&article=5317355
The headline was inspired by Fark.com, but since it happened in Tennessee, the “thousands” might be overstating it a bit.
But I digress.
The kid was mad at his mom, so he starts a fire? I’m no child psychologist, but I think the “lighting-fires-when-angry” behavior is something they’re going to want to nip in the bud. Not to sound like Grandpa EmDub, but when I was a kid, we used run to our room, slam the door and cry into a pillow when we were mad at our parents. We also had to walk 12 miles uphill in the snow each way to school, so…yeah.
When you’re in the market for a faded-yellow soap pump featuring barnyard animals, you might think you’d have to drive all the way to the Cartier store or the Tiffany & Co. boutique. Well I hope you’re sitting down for this: You don’t have to! This finely-glazed specimen will only set you back a dollar at your neighborhood dollar store.
FIGHT CLUB SCREENPLAY, FIRST DRAFT
INT. The Dollar Store – DAY
Jack and Tyler, in trench coats, looking like death-warmed-over, wait as a BUYER fills out forms.
There are cans of “Cholesterol” hair conditioning cream on the counter. Jack looks like he’s half-expecting to get arrested. His hand is BANDAGED.
JACK (V.O.)
Tyler sold the hair conditioning cream to department stores at twenty bucks a can. God knows what they charged. How ironic. We were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them.
