A Pink Cell Phone Cozy
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There must be a surplus of foam rubber in this world. MUST be. Because there’s no reason on God’s green earth to make something this useless and ugly when the same material could be shaped into a cylinder, stamped with a NASCAR logo and used to keep my beer cold.
Who invented this monstrosity? I’m imagining some redneck, sitting at home with his sixth can of Bud chilling in a beer cozy. He’s holding the cozy no more than a foot from his face, concentrating on it, and slowly turning it around and around. His focus falters, and he briefly fantasizes about twelve-year-old girls. Suddenly, his eyes light up and he shouts “EUREKA!”
Thus, a pink cell phone cozy stamped with the word “CHEER” was born miscarried.
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