When I saw this sitting on the shelf at the dollar store, I admit that I had high hopes. What Old Testament stories would I get to bring to life in 16-color Crayola vibrancy?
I was hoping for severed foreskins (1 Samuel 18:20-27), God mooning Moses (Exodus 33:20-23) and people being ordered to kill women, children and infants (1 Samuel 15:1-3).
Alas, it was not to be.
Instead, the book contains such stories as that of how “Abraham and his son, Isaac, went up the mountain to worship God.” If God told Abraham to murder Isaac on the mountain, somebody forgot to tell the people at Jordan House Publishing.
There’s also an informative section on the Ten Plagues of Egypt, where, if the book is to be believed, the worst thing that happened is that some frogs scared some women. Rumor has it the focus groups didn’t like the idea of the Lord murdering all the first-born children.
All-in-all, not a bad find for a book. I can’t wait to have kids who I can screw up by making them color it.
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